They interred him in a hollow space in the wall, under the shade of the old church. We stared solemnly at our feet as the Father said his prayers, and the remains were blessed and sealed with superglue.

How we have twisted and turned and finally broken free.

A glimpse of the future perhaps, shining through the overcast sky.

It's easy to be miserable when others are happy; it's easy to take comfort in the misfortunes of others.

I wake up groggily at midday on a Saturday. It's warm outside and cold in the house, but I've no reason to go anywhere, so I stay inside, sitting in my room, catatonic. Time sneaks stealthily by, until I realise, hours later, that the sun is already setting.

Visiting my grandma in the evening, I watch an old man wield a Tai Chi sword in the courtyard with slow sweeping motions. His back is bowed but he looks determined, proud. I wonder who he was at my age; who will I be at his age?

Later on in the evening, we head over to my auntie's for dinner. We arrive to find my younger cousin being remonstrated for playing computer games instead of doing homework. I can't help but smile - this is exactly as I was, years ago, being scolded for the same thing. Ah, he is so much like me, in so, so many ways. Introverted, introspective and quiet, he has my temperament, and shares my passion for reading and art. He has the same hair; he hides in the same shadows.

Today I did the City 2 Surf. I don't know what came over me, but I ran and ran and never stopped. I was hurting, but I kept at it, a man being chased by his demons, running until I was numb and the pain disappeared. (The pain is coming back to me, now).

I tried my best this time, goddamnit I tried, and won back something I'd lost.