January is coming to a close and this new year has already become old. Everything is chugging along, carried onwards by the weight of its own momentum. There really isn't anything that exciting to report. I'm one step closer to owning a car (fare thee well my dear money) and I've taken on a new 'role' in my job as a developer, ie. programmer, which is ironic considering I'm shit at it and I once vowed never to write another line of code again after I left uni.

I feel old. Several coincidental and quite unfortunate series of events have lead me to feel this way:

• These few weeks we've had a lot of our family friends' kids come over for swims and parties etc. When they talk about school it just makes me feel a little glum. The same way that looking at a slim person makes you feel fat.
• Roger Federer had already won 6 grand slams by this age.
• The 'men' at dragonboat were talking about zodiac signs. Was plesantly surprised to learn that a lot of them were born in '88.
• Stupid people keep talking about stupid marriage.
• Read a book where at the end the main character thinks about finding a wife and settling down. And he's only 18. Stupid book. Oh well it was written in the 60s.
  
• Watched a movie where the guy goes something like: 'When you're young, you think about all the things you can become. When you're old, you think about what you've become.' Stupid movie.

Life is so much simpler when you're a kid. All you need to figure out is whether this pre-cut puzzle piece fits with this other pre-cut puzzle piece, or whether your lego man should have black or red pants.
Yeah I know it's about time. Time to choose a path, time to walk down it? But each time I think about it, I start getting so...yawn..... sleepy......

Okay, so it's the new year, and what better way to start the new year than have New Year's Resolutions!

#1 Buy a car
This so-called New Year's Resolution has been around for a long time. I've finally saved up enough money for it, and I know which car to get. Now if only I could find the time to go to the dealership, and also bring myself to handing over my hard-earned cash.

#2 Earn more money
I'm worth more than a few peanuts, aren't I?

#3 Backpack around China
This is another one of my unfulfilled dreams. My parents think I'm crazy, saying I'll probably be kidnapped by kung-fu beggars and get sold to man-eating tribeswomen. For me, the only problem is taking time off work, and moolah. Although #2 sure will help in this regard.

#4 Stress less
Working is stressful, purely for the fact that the free time you used to have is gone. Add to that stress from home, stress from relationships, and yeah, you get the picture. Kaboom.

#5 Save more
Chances of this happening = #2 — #1 — #3.

#6 Sleep more
I...must stop...walking around...like a zombie. I must stop falling asleep on the train and hitting my head on the walls. I must stop hiding behind my monitor pretending to be awake and working. I must stop being startled when someone walks up behind me and wakes me from my microsleep. I must not look like I've been taking drugs. Crap, it's already getting late...

#7 Gain weight
Now that I've started dragonboat again, hopefully I can add some mass to my already substantial frame. Ha. Haha.

#8 Be Happy
#1 + #2 + #3 + #4 + #5 + #6 +#7. If only it was so easy.

As I watched the fireworks exploding across the harbour, signalling the arrival of yet another year, I suddenly felt weary. I'd seen it all before - a year ago, two years ago, stuck in an endless cycle of dejavu that will play out forevermore.
And people will say to you: 'Happy New Year,' and, 'I hope this year is a good one,' like broken records in endless loops.
How do you measure a year?
By the money you take?
The love you make?
The hearts you break?
The bells come too soon, once again.