These few weeks have been pretty uneventful. Work has been busy like hell, but in spite of it, I've been getting through my stuff real slow. I've just lost all my motivation, and I'm not sure why. I'm entering into one of those Couldn't-Be-Fucked (CBF) stages. I'm young, I'm impatient, and I don't see myself going anywhere in my current role anytime soon. But then, I feel powerless to do anything about it. It's the price one pays for being ambitious and lazy.

What else has been happening? We had an expensive ($80 per head) dinner for Monkey and Adam's birthday at Balzacs in Randwick. The food was pretty amazing, and I was going to write a separate post for it, but...CBF. Maybe sometime later.
Let's see, what else... Oh, had a BBQ yesterday at Bicentennial Park with the soccer team. Unfortunately, when we got there, all the public BBQs were taken so we ended up using someone's portable one. But then we didn't have enough heat beads, and by the time we went out to buy some more, it was already 2pm and we were starving. When we eventually managed to get it all going, I somehow (voluntarily/stupidly) ended up as the cook. And so I stood there for two hours cooking all the food. Fun.

Other than the BBQ, I've had a pretty boring weekend. I feel like I'm wasting my weekends sitting at home doing nothing. Everyone else seems so caught up in their own little worlds. People say I have a lot of friends, and, true or not, it makes no difference - I'm mostly a gap-filler anyway. All the money in the world can't buy friends; all the friends in the world can't buy company.

Money money money. We hate it intensely, but strive just as intensely to earn it. I never used to worry about money. Back in my school days, when all the other kids dreamt about being millionaires, I would dream about living the simple happy life. But I've always been rather naive and idealistic - life isn't simple, and, more often than not, not happy either.
Once you finish school, finish uni, you have to live life according to a new rule - Everything Has A Price. There's so many things I want to have and do in this world, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to afford it. I don't want to be fifty by the time I see the sun rise above the sands of the Serengeti.

Okay, so this post is all very dull. Oh well. I felt obligated to write something, since it's been a while between updates. I received many suggestions* on what to write, but I thought I'd keep it simple. Don't worry, there'll be a good post soon about the dinner I had last night, once I get the photos.

*'Write about your cooking skills... write about your eating skills... write about your badminton skills...' etc.

Crocodile Tears (The Shit Day)

Oh Stevie,
Today you fought a fish,
And lost.
The women weep,
The men are mourning,
The leaves on the trees,
Are pitifully falling.
Oh Stevie,
Often you did stare in death's face,
And laugh.
Foolish mortal - it was today you could not save!
(Sometimes I wonder
If I could join your watery grave).

Spring. The green buds of newborn leaves sprout on bare branches. Drops of crimson colour rose bushes. Ice melts and flows into mountain streams. The beginning of an ancient cycle. What will this spring bring? Too bad the only thing blossoming is my workload, and it's my childhood that melts with the passing seasons.
I went into hibernation many winters ago, and I'm buried somewhere out there in the frozen snow.