it starts after dinner when you can't get online and you spend ages trying to fix it and it's late very late and you realise oh shit I have an 8 o'clock meeting tomorrow morning and so the next day when the alarm rings bright and early you turn it off and keep sleeping and when you do wake up it's oh shit almost 7 and you race out the door and catch the bus and catch the train while all the time trying to catch some sleep as the train rattles on and by the time you get off at the station it's already 8 and you run through the barriers and up the escalators and you get to the office and oh shit the meeting is already underway and you enter the room as inconspicuously as you can but the business sponsor eyes you disapprovingly and you mutter an apology and you sit down and try to follow what the hell they're talking about and you catch words like tendering and subcontractor and integration but otherwise you're not really listening and you're struggling to keep your eyes open fighting to keep yourself awake but oh man your eyelids are so heavy and you think about the cool forests and lovers and what about Hong Kong the fragrances the city lights the trams and you snap out of it and concentrate on the diagrams on the board but then you start drifting again and falling asleep and daydreaming and it's just an endless cycle and then midway your phone rings and you say excuse me and go outside to take it and it's your dad and he says sorry son I dented your car your brand new car when I opened my car door and it hit yours so sorry and you feel like swearing but you can't and you go back into the meeting room fuming and sitting there all you think about is how stupid can he be and how bad is the dent and what would happen if you threw one of these chairs through the window and the meeting just goes on and on and on and god you're so hungry you wish he would just shut up but no it just goes on and this continues for hours the staying awake the daydreaming the hunger until one of them says okay time for a lunch break but only for half an hour and on the way out the team leader says you need to ask more questions if you don't understand and what should come out as I don't really give a shit becomes I understand and lunch is soon over and you're back in the meeting room for another few hours of endless talk and you're beginning to hate the business sponsor guy because he's a jerk and talks to you like you're a kid and after more struggling to stay awake and dreaming of palm trees the meeting is finally adjourned and you feel free freedom and then you go back to your desk and put your head down and get to work because there's a shitload of things to do all piled up now and you work pretty late but before you go one of the managers wants to talk to you and he talks to you about your career plans and he asks you what you're good at and you think really I'm just a jack-off or is that a jack-of-all-trades and the basically he tells you your current career is going nowhere and eventually you leave the office but you can't go home because you need to return a leaking tent that you bought last week and after much hassling you get a credit note and now you're on the way home on a crowded train and your head is hurting and then you wait ages for the bus and the more you wait the more anxious you become and now you're on the bus home is where the flowers grow and you open the door and run up to your room and your head is pounding and when you enter your room a bomb explodes and there is blood splattered all over the walls and you think that's my blood and the room spins and you're falling and falling and somehow, yet somehow... you... feel... fine.

In my dream you touched my face,
Memories of old I did embrace,
Laughter cake, ice-cream fish,
When a lifetime with you,
Was my last dying wish.
How I long to lie by your side
In the room that smells of freshly-baked cookies!
My forbidden place;
My sweet, sweet mistake.
This is the past I can't retrace (if only I),
The demon I can't erase...