Okay, so you've waited and waited, periodically checking this page, wondering 'When will he update his blog?' and 'What's happened to him?' and 'When the hell will he update?!'
Well here I am, and here is the update.
(No no, none of that 'this page has been intentionally left blank' bullshit)

So...let's start with my graduation.

I've been looking forward to my graduation for a long time now, anticipating the day I could wear a flowing black cape and a square hat with swinging tassels. How sexy. I've been to a lot of my friends' graduations, and each time I would feel simultaneously happy and sad - happy to see them so filled with joy, and yet sad knowing that I might never see my own graduation.

Uni really was a struggle for me, and there were so many times when I was positively sure I would never make it. But, as the song goes, if at first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again. Hmm...I'm not sure if I actually did that; I think it was more I latched onto the people passing by, and rode on their coat tails to the finish.
Funny though, as my graduation day drew nearer, I became more and more disinterested. I have so much to do at work and I can't be stuffed getting there at 8.30 in the morning and no one's going to turn up anyway!

In a few (hundred) blinks of an eye, the 26th of May arrived. I dressed groggily in the morning, the whole family bundled into the car and we drove off. After getting my gown, we stepped into the uni courtyard to take pictures. As the sun shone through clear blue skies, dissolving the dew on the blades of grass, so too was my disinterest in the whole proceeding dissolved. Seeing the other graduates, the gowns, the colours, and the smiles of my family, I was suddenly overjoyed. My family was proud of me - a rare thing - and I took as many photos as I could with them, certain that this moment would never come again. (Well, it might, but not anytime soon, that's for sure.)

The ceremony itself in the Great Hall was soooo boring. I had to stop myself from laughing when we stood for the 'main procession'. The procession consisted of a few old guys dressed in an assortment of robes, fluffy hats and more robes, with a few of them carrying big gold rods. Anyway, the formality of it all is just so ridiculous.

After the certificates were given out (First Class Honours... blah blah blah... Second Class Honours... blah blah blah... Pass... Aidan. That will be all.), another guy made some long speech about biomedical engineering and water shortages. All the while I sat there, dying to just run out of and eat all the free food sitting on the tables outside. Nah kidding, I couldn't wait to see my friends who were waiting for me to come out. Honest!

Hmmm...I've been trying to write this post for two weeks now, but with the little time (work, it's killing me - will write about it later) I have, I've only managed to fill in bits and pieces. Now that I do have time though, I can't be bothered writing, because I've really lost interest in this whole graduation thing. So yeah, I'm gonna cut it short and just leave you with a few photos to ponder over.
By the way, thanks to the people who turned up, and thanks for the gifts too! (Thank goodness there weren't any flowers.)












Bloody hell it's hard posting images in this blog without some major fiddling. Stuff it. If you want to see more, ask me.

I've lost faith in myself once more.

One circumstance leads to another, and like a giant snowball they roll into each other... You'll be on your way up, halfway up the mountain, and you'll see the snowball coming, you'll see it from a mile away, hurtling down the slope like some possessed animal (the metaphorical rolling of one's insecurities into a ball), and you'll see it coming towards you, oh yes it's coming, but you won't move, you won't move an inch because you think you're strong, but no, didn't you know that the flesh is weak, and yes, even a snowflake can kill you, and the snowball crashes into you, and you're caught up and blinded senseless in a swirling catastrophe of white and grey.
You awake, to start once more at the bottom.

Fragmented, like an ill-fitting jigsaw puzzle.

an unfinished letter to someone. anyone. no one.

...I yearn for something greater, but it is the lesser you give (and the lesser I contend with). I am forever the sideshow, the provider of things others will not give, the filler to occupy the gaps in your life.
I have languished in these dark forgotten halls, imprisoned by my own grim determination and the beatings of my stubborn heart. I curse myself, curse my luck, curse you. But if you should call my name, I shall emerge, blinking in your sunlight, filled with the false hope that will surely die as light fades in the evening...

It's about time I updated everyone on what I've been doing lately.
Okay, here it comes. You ready?



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Yes, exciting, I know.

Lazy Saturday afternoon. Nothing to do, and even less to say.
I think that's one of my biggest problems. I never talk much around other people. It's not to say I don't have anything to talk about, but I just don't think anyone is interested in hearing about the mundane. So after the initial meeting where I tell them everything about me ('I am Lazarus, come from the dead!'), the conversations die down and I am left to dispense with monosyllables and fragmented sentences.
Believe me I do try - most people nod subconsciously and then ramble on about their own lives, forgetting what you told them just moments before. It can be hard to find someone who genuinely listens.
Boy: 'Mum mum! I came first today at the school athletics carnival!'
Mum: 'Mmm...that's nice.'
Boy: 'And then like...I was also in the relay and I...'
Mum: 'Mmm...yes yes. Can you take out the rubbish now?'

Lazy Saturday afternoon. I was going to go out tonight, but someone always seems to need the car when I do. I feel light-headed from lack of sleep - my sister has an annoying habit of singing and playing piano in the morning.
I think I shall rest my head and sleep, and pray that I awake when the world has turned.